GOODBYE TO MOM

In the late evening of March 6, 2016 Mom passed away.  One of the tasks I have is to inventory all of her belongings and make sure that they go to various museums.  Now I’ve just started going through her papers, photos, memorabilia,  awards, and uniforms these past weeks.  While it is not as difficult as I thought it would be, it does bring back wonderful memories and quite a few surprises.  I’m finding it a pleasant pastime, a time to be treasured like the last five years of her life I spent helping her.

I could never have dreamed that I would spend the last  years of mom’s life helping her in so many ways.  I brought her to airshows and symposiums, took her to her presentations and assisted her during the presentations.  I also took her to see all of her doctors, helped her with shopping for personal items, and even recall a day I spent taking her around to a variety of stores so she could find a bra that would fit.  While she never did find the bra she wanted, mom and I had a wonderful time together that day.  I hate shopping for bras, by the way, but I truly enjoyed spending the day with her.  Any excuse worked as far as I was concerned.

I realized the day after she passed that I wasn’t mourning her.  I guessed that I had already been mourning her the last five years of her life, watching her as her body gradually wore out, hollering at her during presentations because she forgot what to say and refused to wear her hearing aids.  Whispering just didn’t cut it when she didn’t have her hearing aids in, and she hated wearing them.  And at times I did this in front of more than 600 people!  I felt terrible when she would forget a story, change to a different story midstream, or simply cringe when, after being asked a question, would give an answer to a totally different question.  I realized that at the age she was, in her nineties, most folks enjoyed everything she did and loved her just the same.  Her stories, even when she mixed them up, were totally amazing, funny and wonderful to listen to.  It was a time when my mom was a friend, a peer, a wise advisor, and a child.

Saying goodby to a friend

Thinking back about her I realize I have never met anyone even remotely like mom.  Everybody is born and eventually dies.  What happens between those two events is what makes everyone special, and some folks even more so.  While some folks fill those years with misery, drinking, drugs, and other debaucheries, mom squeezed as much life, living, fun, excitement, love, learning, friendships, and adrenalin causing events out of that time that she could. She was a hugger, a kisser, a fighter, a bona fide adrenalin junkie and a lover, and at the end she had completely used up her life in the most incredible way ever.

Just prior to passing she told me she had done nothing in her life to be ashamed of.  There might have been a couple of things she was embarrassed about (one of those being her cooking) but she was proud of the life she lived and enjoyed it to all the limits God gave her.  In the end she was tired, had completely used up her life and body, and was ready to reunite with her parents and family that had already passed.  She was tired and ready to go.

Great Granddaughter Cherokee, Mom and a friend saying goodbye

And like she had done so many times at air shows, banquets, and so many other events, she found a place in her apartment to hold court to greet the many friends and family that came to bid her farewell.   It was not a time to say goodbye and mourn but a time of celebration and recognition of someone that truly knew how to live and enjoy life and really do it well.

So some folks are born, they just go through life and then die.  Mom was born, lived ninety six years, and put more life into those years than anyone else I know.  When she passed, she had shown how life should be done, and done right.  She is not to be mourned.  She should be celebrated.